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20 February 2010

Sadness


Dear blog readers, I need to whinge and this is my best option, please ignore at will. I will go back to writing book reviews and promoting books, however, I needed a moment, an outlet to write my feelings and thoughts. This probably would have been best done in a journal yet I do not have one and no time to go out an acquire one, so thank you for putting up with me.

Hospice is setting up the required hospital bed and equipment and I am, for lack of a better word, sad. Oh I am quite angry that things were allowed to get this bad and I am angry at being told that what is done is done. I despise that meaningless tautology as though it should excuses poor judgement and all concerned must be resigned to a fate that could have been prevented.

Rosella is on her way home, a place she has begged to be for the past 10 days (has it really been that long?). For her, to come home, will mean everything, although I do not believe she knows hospice will be there. Again, it is out of my hands. She will not handle that well. I pray she can find comfort in familiar surroundings and her beloved dog. I pray that her daughters will finally understand and start caring what happens to their mum before it is too late. I do not think they will, yet for Rosella's sake, I must stay hopeful.

As for my family, we are sad. Sad for everything, but especially sad for Rosella. She may or may not have the strength to be indignant, no worries, we are for her. We have done almost all we can. We will be with her as much as we are allowed. Time is running out.

If my reviews are erratically spaced for awhile or absent (which I am hoping does not happen), it is because I will be beside Rosella.

Thank you to anyone who read this far.

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26 comments:

Sheila (Bookjourney) said...

Jennifer I have been wondering how your neighbor has been doing.

I am saddened to read this post and my heart weeps for Rosella.

My prayers are with you.

Brooke from The Bluestocking Guide said...

I'm sorry Jen. I can tell how rough this is for you.

Michelle said...

Jennifer - You have every right to be indignant. It always amazes me how people can be so selfish about their own feelings and interests when dealing with the final stages of a terminal disease. Life should never get in the way of blogging, and I know that we will all still be here whenever your personal life settles down a bit. My prayers are with Rosella and with you.

Jennifer-Eighty MPH Mom said...

I would not call this whining at all.
I call this someone who cares sharing their feelings and sadness. I know what a rough time this is for you right now. Your family and Rosella are in my thoughts and prayers...

Tami said...

Thinking of you Jennifer and hurting with you. You are not whining, I too, am finding my blog to sometimes be that outlet that I need to release feelings. Will be praying for you and your neighbor.

Michelle said...

Sorry to hear about this, Jennifer.
Although we enjoy your reviews and will miss you if you need a break, we all understand that your family and friends absolutely take precedence over blogging.

hcmurdoch said...

Take the time you need for you, your family, and Rosella. She is lucky to have Hospice (they do a wonderful job) and neighbors like you to help her through her last days.

CelticLady said...

I am sorry....

Book Monster said...

Aww I'm sorry, hopefully things get better. Keep your hopes up and be strong!!

Lisa said...

((hugs)) to you, and will be thinking about you during this difficult time.

Mash1195 said...

Jennifer: Working with hospice in the past, it is an extraordinary service. Be proud, even through your pain, of how you and your family gave her, what it sounds like, an unconditional love, loyalty, happiness and comfort. Not now, but someday, you will find comfort in these memories where others will have to live with regret. Thoughts and prayers are with you during a very difficult time.
CMashLovesToRead

Paula said...

I find myself saddened by this post but glad to know that Rosella has such a good friend like you that you will be spending some time with her. I wish you and her good times together and hope she is at peace.

LT said...

We will be sending Rosella and your family our thoughts and prayers.
You are a good friend to her, be well Jennifer.

Naomi said...

So sorry for Rosella but she is lucky to have friends like you and yours. It makes you realize how important our relationships are, doesn't it?

(The) Ladybug Lounge formerly Msslaydbug said...

Jennifer,
We will all be here for you and understand you are struggling through a very difficult time right now. I'm so glad she has you and your family. What a lucky woman she is. Cherish every last moment you have ! ((((HUGS)))

Diane said...

So sorry Jen, but at least she will be home (as she wished) for her final days. You are a special person to have been there for her.

Whimsical Creations said...

I am so sorry. I am glad she is finally coming home. Hugs!

dArLyN said...

hello jennifer! i have one lovely award for you =p

http://darlynandbooks.blogspot.com/2010/02/blog-award-6-prolific-blogger.html

Mystica said...

This is not whining. You need to speak your mind and good for you. I do hope you and she both will find some comfort in whats being done.

Suzanne said...

I'm so sorry to hear things have gotten worse. At least she will be able to be home! You are truly a special person for caring and being there for her!

Journey on! by Kelleye said...

just came by to say hi, its been a while since I have been able to read blogs, I have missed much! I don't know your neighbor, but I hope everything works out for her.

Journey on! by Kelleye said...

just came by to say hi, its been a while since I have been able to read blogs, I have missed much! I don't know your neighbor, but I hope everything works out for her.

Journey on! by Kelleye said...

just came by to say hi, its been a while since I have been able to read blogs, I have missed much! I don't know your neighbor, but I hope everything works out for her.

Journey on! by Kelleye said...

just came by to say hi, its been a while since I have been able to read blogs, I have missed much! I don't know your neighbor, but I hope everything works out for her.

Journey on! by Kelleye said...

just came by to say hi, its been a while since I have been able to read blogs, I have missed much! I don't know your neighbor, but I hope everything works out for her.

Carin said...

Thinking of you. I hope all goes painlessly, quiety, and smoothly for Rosella, and that the pain is bearable for the rest of you. It will never go away, but it will get easier.